How it all started…

This was my first painting for Brown Girl Art.

It was August 2020 and I was sitting in a cabin in sunny Norfolk when the idea came to me.

Let me go back a little…

After a break of several decades, I’d started painting again at the start of that year. When lockdown happened soon after, a lot of us suddenly had a lot of time on our hands. I used mine to paint.

Then in May of that year George Floyd was killed. His death sparked a lot of conversations with friends and family that I’d never had before. Deeply personal conversations about race, white privilege and our own experiences of racism.

The cabin where it all began

It all culminated with in me sitting in this beautiful, peaceful cabin and deciding that I was going to paint about my childhood experiences of racism.

This piece is based on a photo of me as a schoolgirl. By the age of 6, I knew what “paki” meant. I grew up in Kent in the 1980’s so racism was rife and while we didn’t like it, we accepted it as a part of life. I still remember exactly how I felt every time someone called me a paki. The hurt, the anger and the shock, even though it was so common.

Red glasses and fringe era

I kept the painting faceless because although those red glasses and fringe are me (my most iconic look if I’m honest…) I know these experiences weren’t just mine. They were shared by so many. This could be any Asian child, boy or girl, in 80’s England.

So I feel very grateful that my then 7 year old daughter looked at this painting and asked what “paki” meant. And I was very heartened to hear her many ideas for what I should have said back.

There is always hope for change.