Decolonising my nose

I have what I call a strong nose. It could be Punjabi, it could be Kashmiri, it could be Afghan. Who knows. The one thing I know, is that it doesn’t fit the Western standard of beauty of a small nose. My nose is long, it has a clearly defined shape and there is nothing small or shy about it. 

My nani-ami (maternal grandma) had a bigger nose than mine and she was considered such a beauty. My mum and her seven sisters were also so beautiful. The collective impact of them as young women was a sight to behold but each of them was stunning in her own way. Of them all, one has a (relatively) small nose. The rest of them? If it wasn’t long and pointed, it was wide. Yet they too were considered beautiful women.

So, what was it that was so ingrained in me as a child that I hated my nose so much? It’s simple; I was surrounded by Western concepts of beauty. From hairless bodies, to blond hair, to small noses, I didn’t fit any of the categories of what was considered beautiful.

Over time, my nose became a marker of how secure and confident I felt. When a serious relationship ended, I began researching nose jobs. When I was having a low day, I looked at all my small-nosed friends and hated my nose even more. I got my nose pierced three times and each time obsessed over whether it made my nose look smaller or drew attention to it.

If you asked me what I think of my nose now, I’ll tell you truthfully that I love it. It’s a part of me, of my heritage and cultural identity. Living in a multicultural city where diversity is not only accepted but embraced has definitely helped. Walk down a street near me and you’ll see beautiful people from around the world. When you see that you realise that that being different isn’t just ok, it’s brilliant. It makes the world a wonderful place to live in.